Apparently I have been engaged in a transition, recognized by others on the spiritual Path I follow, as a key shift in both focus of attention and sense of identity, that requires limiting one’s outer engagements to just what is necessary for daily life, with much of what occupied my time and energy stripped away. Hence my writing has been set aside, along with most social interaction, social media usage, even the number of books I am accustomed to getting read in a week. Undoubtedly the considerable demands to adapt imposed by acquiring a teenage stepson, and being displaced from home (again) by wildfire, have played their part in my largely unconscious decision to pull in, focus inward, and go relatively silent to the unseen audience such as I may still have for this blog.
The aftermath of fire damage is still unfolding. My house was saved, its exterior severely damaged and about to be remade (projected to take about a month). Garage and large shipping container of stored life history are gone. The electric meter, and therefore power for the well, was destroyed and took several months to be restored to code specifications, during which time I was evacuated to a location 140 miles away, traveling back twice a week to care for animals and receive my scheduled weekly health support treatments. Friends housed me near home for those overnights. I am deeply grateful for their caring assistance.
Learning to live, three of us in a small one bedroom apartment where my husband lives during his workweek, in a big city near its airport, was a challenging adjustment for the three months of being evacuated from home. I have known intuitively, all my life, that I am not a city person, despite living in them from early childhood until my late 20’s when I moved to New Mexico. Once here, I have lived rural, delighted to visit cities when necessary but no longer confined by them. Despite the view from some of my windows now being of charred trees, I still savor the rural landscape that has been my daily blessing for more than thirty years. And there are patches of green reemerging on many of the trees, the grasses have come back in full, along with sunflowers and some other small wildflowers. Additionally, the grasshopper infestation that has plagued my neighbors living outside the burn area has not come near my surviving perennials. Doves never left, and songbirds have returned. The only thing I missed this summer season was hummingbirds. I expect them back next year.
It is too soon to say what may be my biggest gift from this year of upheaval, but as I approach both the anniversary of meeting my spiritual teacher and my own birth anniversary, both in late October, I acknowledge my gratitude for finally learning to release mind’s iron grip and dictates, freeing me to be flexible, adaptable and trusting, experiencing satisfying outcomes I could not envision with my limited mental outlook. My Teacher repeatedly reminds us that Soul is a happy entity. Seeing that I can be happy despite outer tensions and challenges is a lovely indication that I am approaching knowing myself as Soul, lovingly guided on what to say, when to say it, when to be still, when to act and how to simply Be.
Thank you to all who continue to follow despite my long silence. I appreciate you.
1eclecticwriter 