To write a blog post means to take time for myself – ignoring the barking dog outside my windows who is either scaring off deer, or defending her territory from marauding neighbor dogs. Ignoring the addictive habit of turning on the news to learn what latest atrocity is emanating from the once lovely city where I was born. Ignoring the phone that invites me to check in with the wants, needs or disregard of others in my immediate circle of family and friends.
Taking time for myself seems solidly set in opposition to all that we are persuaded, daily, it is our obligation to engage with. Don’t be selfish. Put the needs of others before your own. Be a good neighbor, friend, wife, mother.
Where are the exhortations to be good to oneself, without which one cannot sustain constant care for others?
And in particular, what part of self is it that needs attention it is not getting?
Surely not the ego, that so easily takes pride in how well (or poorly?) it cares for all those others it is exhorted to attend to.
The reflective individual who does, indeed, do a good job of other care remains too often in a quandary of self doubt – feeling unsatisfied, empty, even bereft despite their long list of good works and behavior. I see it all around me, have felt it myself.
Why is that so?
Most certainly, because the self that needs care isn’t getting it. Ego is not the self that needs care.
Spirit, Soul, Inner Self, “that of God in everyone” is the self that needs care, but too rarely gets it.
I see it all around me, and am guilty of this neglect myself.
Hearing the exhortation to practice what you preach, I wish to relearn the habit of regular posting that I achieved some years ago, when I was also working full time and meeting other commitments. Somehow retirement, which should have given me more time, did the opposite. Partly due to a simultaneous health challenge to my energy. Partly due to living through Covid, two successive wildfires that did severe damage to my home, and a major change in my family situation. But mostly due to neglect of Self care. To post I must make time for inner reflection, which is one form of Self care. I must assure that I do my daily contemplation exercise, and keep my attention focused on the inner voice that guides me wisely. I have not totally lost those habits, but I have allowed myself to become distracted, overwhelmed.
No more.
Tags: balance, lessons, MasterPath, mental health, self-care, spiritual development, virtues, wildfire
1eclecticwriter 
October 2, 2025 at 8:53 am |
Niki, You’re helping me stay sane in these chaotic past days and the month to come. I’m so glad I found you again after a long break. My life has been flipped up, down and every which way in the past two years. And now, alone, as I sell the home that has been the “special place” for my hub’s and I, and go to a completely different life in an apartment complex, it sometimes feel like none of it is real. As if I’m floating along in a surreal dream, doing what I must, all the required tasks, but it is “me”. I’m trying to stay positive by thinking of what could/should be fun in the near future with the apartment. Rearranging rooms in my mind, listing things I will want to buy for my “new place”. I’ll get there, with the help of my fantastic kids and some wonderful friends, and now you, a special friend I’m so glad to have found again.
Cheryl
October 2, 2025 at 9:35 pm
Losing one’s spouse, especially unexpectedly, as you did, takes a long time to recover from. Leaving the shared home inevitably repeats the loss and umdoubtedly renews the grief. The only antidote I know is the one you allude to, identifying the ‘me’ who is carrying on with what needs done and looking forward to new opportunities. You may be in for a happy surprise, as I was 11 years ago.