In the season of Halloween with its strong theme of haunting – haunted houses, will o’the wisps, scary dreams, things that go bump in the night, I’ve become aware recently of a different sort of haunting – the way in which the emotional imprint of very old experiences can haunt one’s present, distorting and sometimes destroying present peace, satisfaction, well being. It may even instill a negative tone into current relationships.
I’m not referring to the sort of emotional turmoil that needs professional help from a qualified mental health counselor. Rather, I’m noticing a subtle tugging on emotional strings that results from misperceived identity, or misplaced attention. A current example for me is too easily feeling overlooked in the days surrounding my birthday because of a haunting recall of how my birthday was regularly ruined, year after year, in my childhood. Whatever had been promised as a treat would not materialize, no parties were ever allowed, and instead of pampered, I often became the scapegoat for something/someone else that angered my mother.
In the more than half century since, there have been any number of special events to mark various birthdays – either things I treated myself with, or that friends shared with me. Living on my own for many of those years, I learned to celebrate privately. It has come as a surprise, therefore, to find that now – in a relationship – I can be haunted by those childhood memories, and want assurance from my partner that this year, this birthday, will not be overlooked.
This particular haunting rose into awareness as I participated in a group reflection recently. I have met regularly, for over two years, with a small group of people on Zoom, most of them drawn to Quaker silent worship from a variety of backgrounds. We share our reflections on a query related to a reading. Most recently, we had all read an essay about the different ways that people center themselves, still the mind, enter prayer, or otherwise engage in the activity they consider as the way to connect with the spiritual self. The query was worded:
How do you recognize an inner prompting as coming from your spiritual center, however you identify or name that place of wisdom?
It was enlightening to hear what different people connected with in the article, and to recognize that in a way we had each read a different essay. What spoke to one had not been noticed by another. One was comfortable with the author’s implication that God, the Divine, Spirit, Eternal Love – so many different terms – is external to the author and to be sought outside oneself. Another participant described her spiritual practice as connecting with the Spirit Within. Both stated that they “just knew” because of its “ring of Truth” that an insight arose from spirit, not the mind or emotions.
I also seek inwardly for the guiding spirit, the Sound, my Eternal Teacher to make me aware of whatever it is I need to know in the moment. Most recently the birthday-related haunting served as a nudge, a prompting from within, to finally, permanently stop looking outward for validation and acknowledgment.
Now I face a different challenge – to discern why it is that subtle habits one knows need to be broken remain so hard to shed? My Teacher refers to them as golden chains, as they often seem to be positives, like concern for hearing the opinions of others, listening, and being a “good friend”. It is critical to recognize that the actions themselves are not binding. The enchainment comes from needing to know that one is appreciated for doing them.
It helps that I remind myself daily of an instruction from my Grandpa, given more than 70 years ago, that the guide to follow is that I “do right because it is the right thing to do.” Not for recognition, not for honor, not for any external reason – simply because I know that I am doing what I should when I listen inwardly and follow the Inner Voice that has never failed to guide me well. The doing becomes its own reward.
1eclecticwriter 
History – Repeat, Repeat
November 18, 2025Responding to a comment from a 48 year old person that “my generation is at fault” for a failure to bring African countries further ahead in their economic development, I found myself responding that too few people, worldwide, seem to have integrity and an ethic of community well-being. Instead the dominant motivator seems to be “I will get mine by whatever means necessary” and to hell with my neighbors, let alone those living in other countries.
Yes there are exceptions everywhere, but they are sadly few and far between.
Why has it taken us here in the USA so long to begin to push back against the epitome of greed, corruption and narcissism that is the cabal currently running our government? Yes, the latest demonstrations and elections show there is a new sense of unity (except perhaps in the Senate) intent on reversing the degradation of our democracy.
Why has it taken so long, and conditions devolved so badly, for that push back to be necessary? Why are dictatorial leaders taking control in more and more countries, while long time ones continue to blatantly steal elections to retain their power?
What is it in human nature that so easily cedes independence of thought to enable a dictator, or cult leader, or other “strongman” to take control without any limits on their ability to then ignore the interests of their followers? Have we learned nothing, over time, from those individuals who wrest their freedom from cult leaders, or overturn a repressive government?
Whom can we hold responsible for our collective willingness to forget history, and therefore be condemned to repeat it, over and over, country after country, worldwide?
I honor the voices, like heather Cox Richardson’s, that daily remind us of how the present debacle in the U.S. mimics earlier periods in our history (the ugly history that MAGA is attempting to erase in order to reinstall its updated ugly version). Paul Krugman does something similar in the economics domain, as does Joyce Vance with the history of law. There are others in different specialties, as well as voices (like Aaron Parnass) that provide factual, truthful updates, often several times daily, of both the brutal and the positive actions occurring which affect us all.
My question is why has it come to this, yet again? What is it in our human makeup that forces a seemingly perpetual swing from compassion, cooperation, and democratic progress back to greed, selfishness, corruption and authoritarian or fascist rule?
One simplistic answer I have read is that the downfall began when we banned religious worship from our public schools. The big problem with that response is that the religion the answer-providers refer to is strictly and only Christianity. They do not espouse respecting and including Judaism, Islam Hinduism, Buddhism, Shintoism, or any of the literally hundreds of other religions, nor the non-sectarian pursuit of pure Spirit, all of which are present both here in the U.S. and all around the world. Indeed, now, classes that might reintroduce a religion-based ethics into classrooms are themselves being banned as “woke”, meaning they deviate from a Christian nationalist world view.
And, by the way, Christian nationalism deviates sharply from Christian values, as firmly pointed out in, among other voices, the recent statement by Catholic bishops regarding Jesus’ teaching on welcoming immigrants. Elsewhere it has been commented that all religions and ethical systems seem to incorporate a version of the Golden Rule. Why is it so hard for so much of humanity to “Do unto others as you would have the do unto you” when the precept is so easily understood?
So many questions, so few answers.
Tags:Aaron Parnas, Christianity, ethics, faith, Heather Cox Richardson, hostory lessons, humanity's values, Paul Krugman, political chaos, politics, religion
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